


UP to the task

by AnonEhouse



Series: Battling Coronavirus (varied fandoms) [7]
Category: Up (2009)
Genre: COVID-19, Coronavirus price-gouging, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:07:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23373655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: Dug is a good dog. He can smell... SQUIRREL! No, he can smell hand Sani.. .SQUIRREL! Hand sanitizers. Dug can POINT! He..SQUIRREL!All right, Dug.
Relationships: Carl Fredricksen & Russell
Series: Battling Coronavirus (varied fandoms) [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1676572
Comments: 11
Kudos: 51





	UP to the task

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

"HELLO! My name is DUG! WILL you PLEASE OPEN the DOOR? I CANNOT reach the DOOR BELL, BECAUSE I am ONLY A DOG."

"Honey, there's a dog at the door."

"HELLO! My name is DUG! I SMELL that you have a LOT of ALCOHOL. IT is not for DRINKING ALCOHOL. IT is the kind PEOPLE need to WASH THEIR HANDS."

"Ignore it, it's just that jackass across the street. He's jealous because I got more hand sanitizers than him."

"I'm looking at the monitor, George. It really is a dog."

"Dogs don't talk." George said from his La-Z-Boy, eyes staying on his laptop where he was carefully calculating markups on various black markets.

"This one does. He has a big collar with blinking lights."

George lifted his head to look at the home security monitor of the front porch. There was indeed a dog, a panting, grinning, stupid looking dog. "Yeah, big joke. That guy will do anything to get my goat, since he doesn't dare turn me in. It's just a radio stuck on the collar, that's all."

"HELLO! My name is DUG! Other PEOPLE need YOUR ALCOHOL. CAN I please TAKE IT, NOW?"

"Yeah, sure. Take it, go fetch, you stupid dog," George said.

"YES. YES! THANK YOU, MY MASTER WILL BE VERY PLEASED!"

"Dear, the dog has gone. But really, shouldn't you donate the hand sanitizers and toilet paper before you get caught?"

"Nah. What are they going to do? They won't put anyone in jail right now, that just risks spreading the disease. So why not keep selling it? Worst that happens is they take what I haven't sold, and I give a sob story about worrying about my family."

LOUD LOUD LOUD CRUNCHING NOISE.

"WHAT the hell?" George finally got out of his chair. He pushed his way past his wife and threw open the front door.

His garage was lifting into the air, scattering bits of wood and other broken bric-a-brac, supported by thousands of brightly colored balloons.

"THANK YOU, MISTER!" shouted a cheerfully chubby boy wearing a scout uniform and a handmade face mask with Batman printed on it. The child was also wearing a hula hoop suspended on a shoulder harness. The hoop had six foot long bamboo sticks attached to it all around. He was holding a remote control box. "I bet I can get another merit badge for this!"

"Yeah," the old man standing twelve feet away from the child said. He was wearing a mask with Robin on it, and standing in a walker, with six foot long bamboo sticks attached to it. His eyes were hard and knowing. "Thanks for nothing, you slug." He held a taser and looked like he was ready to use it.

George spluttered in outrage.

Across the street the dog was sitting proudly in front of another house. "HELLO! My name is DUG! I SMELL that you have a LOT of ALCOHOL. IT is not for DRINKING ALCOHOL. IT is the kind PEOPLE need to WASH THEIR HANDS."

"Oh, Carl!" the kid said happily. "Look, there's more!"

Carl smiled. "I still have plenty of gas!" He waved at a truck, painted on the side with floating balloons.

"Ha ha hah, you're funny, Carl," the kid said.

"Yeah, I am. Come on Russell, lots of good deeds left to do today!" Carl waved the taser in George's direction once more, and then stomped away with his walker waving bamboo sticks all around him.

**Author's Note:**

> When you wake up at 3am with Dug the dog talking to you, you have to post his story before you can go back to sleep.


End file.
